Thursday, April 26, 2018

当我知道introvert-extrovert 这个字眼时,我知道自己更属于前者。但如果你问我大学的同学、毕业后的朋友、前同事、同事、现在的朋友,他们都应该不以为然吧!其实在唸心理学时,自己也做过MBTI的性格测试,也肯定了自己更倾向introverts。
总体来说,我是觉得大多数人对于内向者还是有些偏见滴。就譬如,我们可能会看到、听到 某人说:”这孩子,见人就躲,长大就没出息” (内向=没出息);老师说:”这学生太胆小,以后只能吃公家饭” (内向=保守);面试官:“这个人不勇于表达、不够积极” (内向=没有上进心);女生们:“这帅哥好闷,也不懂情调” (内向=无趣)。
Susan Cain这本书来得好!中文翻译为《安静,内向性格的竞争力》,推荐给大家,无论你是内向者或外向者。其中Susan用了大量的科学事实来说明,内向性格的存在是有基因和生理根源滴!有些个性甚至早在婴儿时期就已开始显现了,这点我也赞同滴。Susan在书中也用了好多事实及例子来证明 ”内向者不等于厌恶社交、不等于愚笨、不等于心理疾病、更不等于虚弱和失败”。而在美国现在这个社会中,内向者约占了1/3 -1/2 的比例。
Susan在书中提到了内向者的三大优势:
1)喜欢深入思考,善于冷静观察;
2)拥有温和坚定的管理风格;
3)更倾向于追求高质量和稳定的社交关系。
Susan也提醒及给予忠告内向者要如何在这”不友好的世界”生存,有兴趣的朋友,找书来看吧!
最后分享书中的一些quotes. 很多都是给内向者的格言:
Don't think of introversion as something that needs to be cured;
Introverts feel just right with less stimulation, as when they sip wine with close friends, solve a crossword puzzle, or read a book; Extroverts enjoy the extra bang that comes from activities like meeting people, skiing slippery slopes, and cranking up the stereo;
Introverts prefer to work independently, and solitude can be a catalyst to innovation;
Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you're supposed to;
We have two ears and one mouth and we should use them proportionally;
Introverts living under the Extroverts Ideal are like women in a man's world.